"Greatest Hits" EP

by Gladiators, Are You Ready!?

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Greatest Hits EP Description:

This EP is the product of some trans(atlantic) queers making a mess with instruments in hand. As an ode to the Figure of the Gladiator in the recent past and the sometimes long and forgotten legacy of humanity's struggle against itself, G.A.Y.R's Greatest Hits pays tribute to our fallen comrades (whether televised, preserved through writing, paint, sculpture, or immortalized in tales of yore). Sifting through those back alleyways and underground passages of future-Time, G.A.Y.R. emerges as the masked brigade of an all out war against complacency with this world. Testo-fueled, spandex clad, and enraged at the core, G.A.Y.R. makes some queer noise without respect to national borders; this noise being something to clear the air from the suffocating onslaught that claims to inspire something other than dread at the fate of terrestrial life.

And as daily drudgeries now serve as the true motor of our history everyone panics that an increasing number of the population simply no longer gives a fuck (#dgaf). G.A.Y.R. finds something of value in this. If there is nothing to give a fuck about, don't feign the zeal in the hope that delusions can be substituted for reality. If there's nothing to give a fuck about, then make something worth giving a fuck about; something worth fucking with and about. Since, let's face it, we are being confronted with a new kind of hot, psychotropic, punk world order. Today, the floating mass known as the 'plastic island' in the North Pacific that is supposedly the size of Texas has become the largest water architecture of the twenty-first century.

So it's clear we've been fucked for a while. No one is coming to save us but we have some time to kill before total societal collapse. Now the only question is what to do on our way out? G.A.Y.R. encourages you to be worthy of our own fall from terrestrial grace and imagine for the time left the components of a refashioned gladiator-techno-punk armature, the updated software of a war-machine program; all the better to fabricate a new aesthetic paradigm worthy of our time. A type of fusion between Spartacus and that Y2K virus that never arrived. Well, better late than never. So, contestants... are you ready?


[Greatest Hits EP Reviews]:

"I was going to give up music until I heard Gladiators, Are You Ready!? Then I gave up life." – David Bowie

"Fuckin' right." – Lemmy

"In defending against the Dark Arts it is imperative to familiarize oneself with the audio-visual mayhem that is G.A.Y.R. "
– Alan Rickman (as Professor Snape)



released January 19, 2016

(aka: Vagina Dentata)

(aka: Alces alces Compagnum)

(aka: Hirnea Nux)

_Guest Vocals_
(aka: Pilosus Sexus Organum)


Mark Jaspers
(aka: Magicus Manu)




all rights reserved


Gladiators, Are You Ready!? London, UK

aka: Vagina Dentata

_Bass/Vocals_ MOOSEKNUCKLE// aka: Alces alces Compagnum

aka: Hirnea Nux

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Track Name: i want to love you like i love myself but i love myself ....just a little too hard
"i want to love you
like i love myself
but i love myself
just a little too hard"
Track Name: Husband to a murdered wife. Father to a murdered son.
"Gladiators go
...on my first whistle
Contestants go
...on my second!"